While you can do it in your head, it works amazingly better if you write it down and get that negative voice out of your head — believe me. 

Here’s how you do it:

1. Make three columns on a sheet of paper, or open an Excel document or Google Spreadsheet. You can do it anytime you’d like, or just when you’re noticing you’re beating yourself up. I like to write mine at the end of the day when I’m overthinking every interaction, but many people I know write theirs in the morning to set themselves up for a positive day. 
2. In the first column, write what we call you  “automatic thought.” That’s your negative self-talk, that crappy, mean little voice in your head. You can be as brief or detailed as you’d like. Mine might read, My workday was the worst. My sessions were terrible, all my clients hate me, and I should probably change careers”  Then read your statement to yourself (it always looks kind of shocking to see it in print) and look for the cognitive distortions to write in the second column. There may be just one or more than one. In the example we’re using, there are at least four: overgeneralization, all or nothing thinking, mental filter, and jumping to conclusions. 

Finally, in the third column, write your “rational response.” This is when you think logically about what you’re feeling and rewrite your automatic thought. Using our example, you might write, My sessions may not have been perfect, but my client and I both showed up as our authentic selves. My clients chose me for a reason and I can check in at the next session regarding what they need from our time together. There’s no evidence at
all that this one “messy not so great day” means I should completely change careers.