First Holidays with a Newborn: Making Your First Holiday Season Easier.

First Holidays with a Newborn: I Feel Like I Can’t Make Everyone Happy, Mainly Myself

The first holiday season with a newborn can feel like a lot. Really, a lot. Between family expectations, traditions, cooking, decorating, and just trying to survive on minimal sleep, it’s easy to feel like you’re failing everyone including yourself.

Here’s the truth: you don’t have to make anyone happy but yourself right now. And even that is enough.

1. Release the idea of “perfect holidays”

Social media and family stories often make the holidays look effortless. In reality, most parents are just surviving. Let go of trying to recreate Pinterest-perfect meals, outfits, or schedules. Your baby doesn’t need a flawless holiday, they need your presence and care. Let's be real they won't remember their first thanksgiving outfit, but their minds and bodies will remember being cuddled and cared for.

2. Set realistic expectations

You might feel pulled in every direction: visiting relatives, hosting, attending events, doing EVERY festive outing. Pick what matters most and let the rest go. It’s okay to skip gatherings or shorten visits. Saying no doesn’t make you a bad mom; it makes you human. Remember right now these memories are for you, little one won't remember them. So choose what memories YOU want to have with your newborn and stick to those.

3. Set boundaries and start your own traditions

It’s okay to say no to anything that drains your energy. Long family dinners & events that feel overwhelming, no thank you this year. You can also start new traditions that work for your family and your baby’s needs, whether that’s a cozy morning with hot cocoa, a short walk to see holiday lights, or a special bedtime ritual. Creating your own traditions takes pressure off “doing it like everyone else” and helps you enjoy the season in a way that feels manageable and joyful.

4. Include small moments for yourself

Even five minutes of quiet, a warm drink, or a shower where no one interrupts counts. Tiny self-care moments add up and help you show up calmer, more present, and more patient. This is your first holiday as a mom and really this year is about you.

5. Communicate your needs

Let family and friends know what you can realistically manage. Most people want to help, but don’t know how asking for support takes the pressure off and can create space for connection rather than stress. We all have that mental list of what would be helpful, but A.) we never write it down or B.) never want to share the list. Here is your therapy homework for the week..write the list and share the list.

6. Let go of guilt

You are doing a huge job: you grew a human, recovering, feeding, comforting, and showing up for your baby. Not everything else will go perfectly, and that’s okay. You don’t need to carry the weight of everyone’s expectations.

The first holidays with a newborn aren’t about perfection. They’re about connection, presence, and learning to forgive yourself when things feel messy. Celebrate the small wins, let go of unrealistic expectations, and remember: you’re enough, even when the lights aren’t perfectly strung and the cookies are burnt.

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