When One (Or More) Of You Is A Mom And One (Or More) Of You Is Living For You...It's HARD.

When Friendships Shift: Navigating Different Seasons of Life

There’s a quiet kind of grief that can show up in adulthood one that doesn’t always get named or talked about. It’s the feeling of realizing that your friendships are changing. Not because of conflict or betrayal, but because life is simply…moving in different directions.

Some of your friends are becoming moms immersed in feedings, nap schedules, and a kind of love that is all-consuming. Others are traveling, building careers, going out on a whim, or still figuring out what they want their lives to look like. And somewhere in the middle of it all, you might be wondering, Where do I fit now?

If this is your current season, you’re not alone. And more importantly nothing has gone “wrong.”

The Tender Reality of Growing Apart (and Together)

Friendship used to feel easier. More spontaneous. More aligned.

Now, connection might take more planning. Conversations might feel a little different. There can be moments of disconnection, misunderstanding, or even unspoken hurt on both sides.

For the friend who is a mom:
You might feel like your world has shifted in ways your friends can’t fully understand. You may crave support, but struggle to articulate what you need or maybe don't want to have to explain. You might also feel guilt for canceling plans, for being less available, for not showing up the way you used to.

For the friend in a different stage:
You might feel left out, replaced, or unsure of how to connect anymore. You may worry about saying the wrong thing, or feel like your life is being minimized in comparison. You might miss your friend deeply, even if nothing “bad” has happened.

Both experiences are valid. Both deserve compassion.

What Helps: Gentle Ways to Stay Connected

Friendships don’t have to look the same to still be meaningful. Often they just need to be more intentional.

1. Name what’s changing
Avoiding the shift can create more distance. It’s okay to say, “I miss you,” or “This feels different lately.” Honest, gentle conversations can create space for reconnection instead of resentment.

2. Adjust expectations (without giving up)
The friendship may not be as frequent or spontaneous and it can still be deep, supportive, and real. Let it evolve instead of expecting it to stay the same. That shift also doesn't and won't happen in the first hang out, let it have the time and space to find its new groove before throwing in the towel on that friendship.

3. Get creative with connection
Connection doesn’t have to mean long dinners or nights out. It might look like voice notes (IYKYK), short walks, texting during nap time, or sitting together while a baby plays nearby.

4. Practice mutual curiosity
Instead of assuming you can’t relate, stay open. Ask questions. Be willing to learn about each other’s current worlds even when they look very different. As a woman without kids who is friends with many women starting their journey into motherhood I appreciate that my friends still ask about my life and we don't just talk about the baby (even though this auntie is OBSESSED with those babies). And as the non-kid friend, ASK your mom friends about things not related to the baby because they are just a person not just a mom.

5. Hold space for both grief and gratitude
It’s okay to miss what was and appreciate what still is. Both can exist at the same time. Yes, hangouts look different. Yes, the time together may have to be planned months in advance to allow for childcare to be found. Yes, time together has to be intentional, but that can be so beautiful in a friendship too.

A Note on Letting Friendships Breathe

Not all friendships will stay as close and let's be honest that can be really painful in the moment. AND (you know I love an and instead of a but) distance doesn’t always mean disconnection forever. Some friendships ebb and flow with life stages. Others transform into something quieter, but still meaningful.

And sometimes, new friendships will emerge ones that align more closely with your current season. That doesn’t erase the value of the old ones.

You’re Allowed to Be in Transition

If your friendships feel different right now, it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you’re growing. It means life is expanding in new directions for you and for the people you care about and both in equally as meaningful ways.

There is space for love across different paths.
There is space for friendships to change and still matter.

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